How can someone be so close but feel so far away?

The truth is I really do miss you. Even if I see you heaps. I really just want the old you back.

You've changed so much it hurts. It hurts me to see you like this, because I know it's not who you are. It's not like you to do all the stuff you're doing.

It hurts me. And your family. And it's not achieving anything.

So please. Stop before you hurt yourself.

Please?

I miss the old you. Who turned up at my house with two litres of melted icecream because you didn't realise that icecream melted. Or the one who cheered me up by chasing chickens with me. That's who I want back.

Love Jema :D

What if i don't want to give it a title? Sarah, a blog has to have a title. No it doesn't Jema! Yes! No! Yes! No!

Well. Sarah and I enjoy arguing.

Anyway.......................what should we blog about Sarah?
I don't know Jema.
Pie?
No.
Apple pie?
No.
Human pie?
No.
Banana Custard Pie?
No.
Blueberry Pie?
No.
Fine. Apple Crumble?
I do like Apple Crumble, let's go make some!
NO.
I thought I was supposed to be the one saying no?
And now the tables have turned! MUAHAHAHAHAH
Shut up Sarah.
Sorry.




Now to actually blog and not randompietalk.

I'm sick of hearing about oil rigs, like, I know my Dad runs one. But gee, it gets freaking annoying when I'm supposed to be somewhere at 11, and I don't get there til like 1 because Dad's been on the phone! ITS ANNOYING. GOSH.

End of ventication.

Apparentely I have to sing badabadadadada repeatedly to boost the length of my solo.

It's rather boring.

Sorry, I just had to inform everyone about my lame solo. Which is a song I loved until tonight. STUPID SOLOS RUIN THE SONGS YOU'RE DOING.

Anyway.
I don't know what to blog about.....my random burst of happiness that makes me think of sunflowers? I like sunflowers, they're pretty. I remember at Sarah's old house there were giant sunflowers that were taller than us. Sigh.

Why do people have to leave? Like seriously. This year I've had one friend move to New Zealand, one to Queensland, the twins moved far away but not too far away, Issy moved to America.......now ones leaving tomorrow, the other one next week. At least they're only moving schools, but still it's sad :(

Oh well, I'll live.

I'm glad it's the weekend. Weekend's are fun.

That is all.

Letters FROM the editor.

I kind of stole this idea...yes Sarah, once again off of you.

Dear exams,

Go die in a hole. Your pointless and stupid and have me freaking out over nothing. I don't want to study, the idea of facebook and blog is so much more appealing. So please go away until year 12 when you're actually important.

Love Jema.




Dear person,

You're awesome. Wallpaper shopping is fun. Thanks for the Sims.

Love Jema.



Dear said person's mum,

You cook the best food ever. Why can't MY mum cook?

Love Jema.



Dear stupid maths teacher,

Learn how to explain stuff please. For the sake of me failing year 9.

Love Jema



Dear You,

I don't think you're stupid. I just think you did something stupid. I love you anyways. I honestly don't care what anyone thinks, and therefore neither should you.

Love Jema



Dear Person,

You're awesome. And hilariously funny, even if no one else thinks so. You're smart, even if no one else thinks so. You're my bestest friend ever...only because you buy me sushi.

Love Jema.


Dear Person,

You ARE amazing. You're fantastically awesomely helpful. And I WUB YOOOOOOOOU.

Love Jema.




Dear 2nd Person,

You are also amazing and fantastically awesomely helpful. I love you too :D

Love Jema.




Dear Graduation,

Honestly what on earth is the point in you? Huh? YOU'RE STUPID AND MADE ME FREAKOUT ABOUT HAVING SCREWED UP THE WHOLE SCHOOL'S GLOBAL DRIVE.

Not Love Jema.



Dear Grace's seizures,

Go away, you're freaky.

Love Jema.



Dear Person who I wrote two letters to,

You're special. You got two.

Love Jema.

I don't want to do solos :|

Just had a realisation that solos are on Friday, and me and Jenni only decided what we were doing today...fun. I had a good afternoon today, went op-shopping with Lisa, we ended up buying wallpaper! It only cost 2 bucks a roll,

Anyway, HI SARAH!
I stole this off you.

9 things about myself that you might not know...

1) My name is actually Jema-Kate.

2) I'm almost a black belt, and do not look like it, but I could probably punch your lights out :D

3) I have a slightly obsessive personality.

4) I have 1 or 3 brothers, depending on how you look at it.

5) I have a strange passion for movies about the end of the world and or natural disasters.

6) I have seriously weird, random and spontaneous friends who try and bite my fingers, make me pie for no reason, turn up in my bedroom holding buckets of fairy floss and melted icecream, and force me to watch Finding Nemo 5 times in a row.

7) I really love them anyway.

8) I think the number 8 is a lame number.

9) I supposedly look like a rabbit when I'm thinking, because I apparentely put my two front teeth over my lips, I've never actually witnessed this.

Eight of my favourite things...
1) Doctor Who

2) ALLLLLLL of my music

3) Jackson Rathbone

4) My ipod

5) My friends?

6) Rain

7) Bananas

8) Randomness.

Seven things that cross my mind a lot...
1) Why is the sky blue?

2) I worry too much

3) Why on earth am I thinking about THAT?!

4) I'm hungry

5) Why is pop music nowadays all so rappy and crappy?

6) Sigh.

7) Why?

Six things I do before I go to sleep...
1) Read for a bit
2) Write for a bit
3) Turn on my ipod
4) Find my sleepy playlist and play it obviously
5) Think
6) Stop thinking and attempt sleep.

Five people who mean a lot...not in order...I couldn't be cruel.
1) Sarah+Morgan
2) Ally
3) Family people
4) Lisa
5) Ben+Brandon+Morgan+Reuben

Four things you've done in the past week...
1) Slept in til 1 which I've never done before.
2) Gone christmas shopping
3) Bought wallpaper
4) Went swimming

3 of your favourite songs at the moment-not in order, order is cruel.
1) Whiskey Lullaby
2) Thanks for Today
3) Neapolitan Dreams (oh, that's going to be different by friday...stupid solos ruin your favourite songs!!)

Two things you want to do before you die...
1) Skydive
2) Dive in a pool of chocolate

One confession...
1) I really do enjoy watching The Wiggles.
The movie is definetely the best.



Four things I hate...
1)

Hi everbody :D

We think people are sick freaks.
Who are losers and are annoyingly over-protective.
COUGHCOUGHCOUGH.

Love Jema and Lisa.

Stuff Evolution.

Lately two of my certain friends *coughcoughbrandonandgracecoughcough* have been debating about evolution. Now I don't mind them discussing what they believe and whatever. But honestly, guys. God created everything, do you really care how? Does it matter if it was through some random big bang or from monkeys or something wacko like that? No. You just have to believe! It's like that movie where they all stop believing in Santa...no, it's nothing like that, but you get the jist of what i'm saying don't you?

I'm not on either of your sides.

So you two, stop fighting, your too cute to fight. It's weird seeing it. If you guys fight, then no one stands a chance. So I'm saying in the nicest way possible, shut up guys. Please? For my sake?

That's enough about arguments going on. I should go study so I don't fail these exams. I'm failing maths as it is. Yes, I am genuinely failing maths. My mum is going to kill me. Oh well. Ciao World Of Blog.

I think I must automatically blog when I'm tired...

Seriously. Everytime I'm tired, I end up blogging about it. It's really quite amusing. I should be asleep, but I'm not, I should be studying but I'm not, I should be doing homework, but I'm not...The list goes on and on.


Anyway....
Brandon got me hooked on this song.
It's called Whisky Lullaby


The rumours flew, but nobody knew.
How much she blamed herself.
For years and years.
She tried to hide away the whisky on her breath.


She finally drank her pain away.
A little at a time.
But she never could get drunk enough.
To get him off her mind.
Until the night.

She put the bottle to her head and pulled the trigger.
And finally drank away his memory.
Life is short but this time it is bigger.
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees.

We found her with her face down in the pillow.
Clinging to his picture for dear life.
We laid her next to him beneath the willow.
While the angels sang a whisky lullaby.

I don't actually know why I'm blogging about something that is so depressing. But yeah. It's depressing. But I'm hooked on it. Kudos to Brandon for getting me hooked on a severely depressing/suicidal song. Anyway......


I think I should go and study...Tata Blog World.

Why are people so stupid?

Some people just do stupid things. I know I do stupid things all the time, but it annoys the heck out of me when people complain about the things they do. WHY DID YOU DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU FREAKING IDIOT?!?!?!?!?!

Sorry after the random piece of venting.

I think I should go to sleep.

No, maybe not, I'll just wait a couple more hours until you come on msn. Smart Jema, real smart. Oh well, it's not like I'll get much more sleep being in bed than I will if I'm on the computer anyway...Fine, I'll make a deal with you, I'll stay on til 2...if your not on by then, then I'm going to sleep. Fair? I think so.

Another random piece of news...I found a website called futureme.org, you basically write yourself an email, then choose the date that you want to get it...I wanted to write myself emails for everyday for a year, then I decided that was too hard and went for once a month, I'm looking forward to getting random emails from myself once a month!

Stupid chlorine...

Swimming carnival was fun. Except for the relay. I still managed to get a ribbon though! Yay! It was cool to just swim all day, and eat...eating is a very important part of our swimming carnivals and sports days...It was also good discussing the possible songs for our band! The idea of us being in a band may seem weird to everyone else who thinks we'll fail, but I actually think it's going to be really good. And we have like 2 pages of possible songs to attempt to cover before we start writing our own...But none the less, I'm SUPER excited. And I'm not sure why I'm excited about being in a band with a guy who plays guitar and another guy who wants to learn it, then me who can play a little bit of like 7 instruments...lemme see, guitar, bass, piano, uke, violin/viola, saxophone and I can sing. This should be interesting. But I definetely want to randomly call out "SWITCHAROO" in one of our practices and then end up on some random instrument...anyways...I should learn the name of our band...is it definant calibre or dynamic calibre?! Just kidding...I should shut up and get to work on my art homework that's due tomorrow that I haven't started...adios world of blog.

who is really going to bother reading this...i'm way too tired, i just decided to blog about some stuff we did last night..

I'm extremely sunburnt. And it hurts. It hurts to smile, which is really annoying. I've also got a weird cut in my foot...I think it might be from the pool, but I really don't know where I got it. Anyway...Last night was surprisingly extremely fun! Not that I was expecting it to not be fun, I was just expecting it to be kind of awkward maybe? But yeah...we went swimming, then 3 of us cooked the bbq and possibly burnt the rissoles and undercooked the burgers. But anyway...Then we ate and I think we may have gone swimming again. Then sometime at around midnight we started watching Sweeney Todd. I fell asleep and ironically woke up when someone said "PIE!" And everyone was eating it. Talk about freaky. I can't really remember much after that...I was WAY too tired. I remember lying on a towel with Ben and Ally and Ben attempting to throw weeds at us. I also remember everyone watching Chicago and hearing really loud brass while I was trying to sleep. The next thing I remember is waking up to the end of Chicago. Then I think they started watching West Side Story, but Ally and I decided that the cat was getting to us, so we went outside to put our feet in the pool. Before the sun was up. Gee we're weird. Then at about 7 everyone came outside and swam AGAIN. After that I think I made breakfast. I made everyone pancakes(although Ben and Ally did help at the start, then left me to play wii...) So I made the pancakes then realised I hadn't made enough for me or Ally. Oops. Then I kind of left Brandon's kitchen in a pig sty with pancake batter on the floor. SORRY BRANBOY! Anyway, after that I think we played wii and went swimming AGAIN. And we weren't tired. That's just weird.


Anyway, I just decided blogging was a good alternative to sleep, even if it's 10.13 and in the past 2 nights i've gotten 6 hours sleep. I've also read 30 pages of FML. It's quite entertaining really...But now I really think I should go to bed, or at least attempt it.

Well doesn't this just screw everything up...

I really don't like my parents much. And I probably sound like a stereotypical teenager to be complaining about them, but they just get on my nerves. Lately I've been arguing with my mum and my brother almost constantly, so I've sort of been avoiding the both of them a fair bit.

I just kept thinking it would blow over, but it hasn't, it's just getting worse. And now mum's decided that she wants to pack me off to live at dad's house, fun. I mean, I like dad's house, I prefer it to mum's actually, it's just the fact that she doesn't care enough to want to keep me anymore that makes me freaking pissed off.

And another thing that's going to be weird is that I've always lived in a house where mum has always been home. Dad leaves for work at 6 in the morning and isn't home til 8 at night...It's going to be almost like living by myself...And I'll have to catch a bus to school which leaves at like 7 in the morning. JOY.

I kind of think it's a good thing in a way though.....In other randomness, I went to the dentist today and had to get two fillings, one of them is really really really sore and it hurts to eat or drink anything...fun fun fun.

I've met someone that makes me feel seasick

I'm happy. Like really happy. For the first time in a long time.

I don't know how I can feel happy when my friends are the complete opposite, but somehow I am. And that fact makes me even happier for some strange reason. I just realised that being depressed wasn't really a good idea, and like people keep telling me, I should focus on the good stuff. And it works.

All I can say is YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

That is all.

I remember you like yesterday and I still can't believe you're gone

I miss him. Way too much. I even miss the way he used to cut our sandwiches. It freaking sucks. I want to curl up into a ball and cry....even if I was doing that all of last night....

I'm sick of not being able to sleep, I'm sick of waking up screaming and crying, and not knowing how to stop these nightmares...Someone said I should focus on the good stuff, another person said I should just try not to think about it, and another said to get some sleeping tablets. All of which are too hard and won't end up working anyway.

I haven't had a good night's sleep in months. That's no exaggeration. The best sleep I've had was on Outdoor Ed. Camp, and that was 6 hours...

Shows that it's bad......

So Tired...

I am so freaking tired. The most sleep I've got in the past week was like 5 hours. And I've been doing stuff all this weekend to make me tired. Had to look after a bunch of year sevens on Friday afternoon, then went to xs already super tired. Then Saturday I spent the day down the bay with my cousins and then a couple of friends, then went back to one of these friends houses for a sleepover, which probably wasn't the best idea with me being super tired and all, but oh well. Then today went to play golf...I did surprisingly well considering I played with right handed clubs when I'm left handed. But now my problem is that it's nearly 11.30, I have school in the morning to get up at like 6.30 for...Even if I go to sleep now, it won't be til at least 1 when I actually fall asleep genuinely, by 2.30 I would of been woken up by a nightmare and not be able to get back to sleep til 5....3 hours sleep isn't enough. I'm sick of not sleeping.